Provision

The blog has been very quiet for over a year now. I have written numerous posts in my head, but they never seem to make it past my brain. 

I am in a season of Provision. God Provides for me, He gives me strength, He gives me rest, He provides wisdom, He provides my every breath. I am learning to trust Him completely. 

I have been busy. I love a busy full schedule. I also enjoy down time. The past year I have seen many babies enter this world. 

I also welcomed my first grandson. I took 2 of my children with me to Minnesota for 11 days. I learned that 2 children were no less work than 8! 

I homeschooled 6 children and had a very busy toddler. I forgot how busy toddlers are. It almost seemed easier when I had a bushel of toddlers.

I learned how to knit, how to quilt, and how important reading glasses are. 

This photo was taken in White Salmon, WA this weekend,
just as we were about to go in to the church for Sean's Uncle Bob's funeral. 

The most important thing I have seen this year is God's faithfulness. He has continued to provide for my every need, and even many of my wants.
I have a whole series of posts (in my head) about what God has taught me this year on love.
Stay tuned, I hope to share with you all that I have been learning.

Touche

I had a fun weekend planned, complete with The Handel's Messiah, 4-H Project Meetings (Horticulture, Sewing and Shooting), 

Wreath Making

 Archery Fund Raiser, Community Chili Feed, Lynden Lighted Parade, and Hay Ride and Caroling with our Church!
I invited my Momm, and niece, Sarah, to join us for the festivities.

Some like to do it without assistance.

We didn't actually make The Messiah (the one thing I really wanted to do). We opted for homemade pizza and Christmas movie night instead. It was probably the best choice. The children had to be up early for Project Meetings. 

We all had a fantastic time, made messes and memories, played Playmobile, read books, and spent time together. 

Others like to check and make sure everything is perfect. 

During the weekend the following conversation was overheard: 

  Liberty (5), "Do you know what fed-up means?"

  Sarah (7). "No, What does it mean?"

  Liberty, "It means you are 'done' with something, Like, it's enough already."

  Sarah, "Oh! Like I am fed-up with your whining?"

Out of the mouths of babes. 

4, 5, 6 Months

I have the best intentions. I plan blog posts, but never get them written. 

 I take thousands of photos, but don't know how to edit or organize them.

 Every time I begin to blog, I spend hours looking at all the photos. That, or someone needs my computer to do their school work.

 Wyatt is a happy baby. He loves his people. and adores animals. He gets so excited when he sees a cat, dog, horse, pig, rabbit, chicken. He laughs and reaches for them.

 At 5 months he started to reach for food and grab. Way earlier than any of my other children. I gave him some avocado, peas and sweet potatoes. He wants to sit at the table with us and hold a big spoon.

 He has grown so much hair in the last couple of months. No, really, he has!

 His 6 month photos did not go so well. He just wanted to eat the sticker.

He got his 2 bottom front teeth this week and slept in his crib for the first time. He was sleeping all night but now is up a few times. He loves to nurse, but only on one side. We (meaning I) finally gave up on the other side. 

He has been on a big car trip, accompanied me to a birth, and to the ER for 3 stitches (for me). All the children still compete for who gets to get him up, dress him, and help with bath time. Liberty can get him laughing the best. He likes to chew on Aaron's chin, Ruby is the baby whisperer and can get him to sleep. Ian likes to move him from place to place, and Wyatt seems to like that. Erik is still trying to teach him things and can't wait to teach him to ride a bike, do a flip, and talk. Wyatt just watches him with fascination. Taylor hangs out with him in the mornings while I am getting everyone else on task, she is also protective of him and likes to feed him when the opportunity arises. 

I cherish this time and love snuggling him, making him laugh and nursing.

Wyatt's Birth

  I had in my mind a picture of The Perfect Birth. First, the birth began with going into labor on my own, preferably a little early. My due date came and went and still showed no signs of labor. Don't get me wrong, I was having plenty of contractions but nothing that was "longer, stronger and closer together."

  I was measuring 48" at my 39 week appointment, that's 9" bigger than what is expected. We all knew that I had a large baby, and I had polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid). Knowing that and having the belly to prove it was incredibly uncomfortable. All the tricks I use with clients to get the baby to apply the head to the cervix were not working. I couldn't use the Rebozo or sifting because anything touching my belly hurt. I literally felt like my belly might burst open at any moment. I knew that because of the excess fluid the baby was too high to stimulate labor. However, the contractions were not in vain, I had been between 4-5 CM dilated and about 70% effaced for over 3 weeks.  

I talked with the doctor and scheduled a tentative induction for Monday morning. I knew that breaking my water would get things going. I really wanted some of that water gone so that the pressure would be relieved and the baby's head could be applied. However, from experience I was terrified of a cord prolapse. I have seen it twice, and had a very good friend have a cord prolapse at home. Definitely not something that I was willing to risk. We discussed doing pitocin to get the uterus to start contracting. Again, knowing that I was going to have an unmedicated delivery I really didn't want to artificially begin contractions. The other option was to do a pinhole prick in the amniotic sack and drain off some of the fluid without the risk of cord prolapse. 

When I went to bed Sunday night I knew that I wasn't going to keep Monday's appointment. I was emotionally raw and didn't have the confidence to go through with it. The hospital called to confirm I was coming in and was upset when I told them that I wasn't. 

I spoke with my doctor again and she was fine. Even the nurse Abby was wonderful and listened to me when I cried and apologized for being 'that' patient. When I looked at the schedule for the week I decided to schedule another induction for Thursday. All the while praying that I would go into labor on my own, but not have the on call doctor that was scheduled for Wednesday. 

   I was pretty much out of touch with my family, even my mom was here and I just wanted to be left alone. I went to my neighbor's house on Tuesday evening to take advantage of their super deep jacuzzi tub. When I arrived they already had the tub filling, the fire (in the bathroom) was going, they asked what kind of music I wanted and there were some lovely bath salts and candles on the edge of the tub. I am not sure that they planned on me spending 2 1/2 hours in the tub, but it was absolutely wonderful. I was able to completely relax for the first time in weeks. After I got out we hung out and talked for awhile, then Erin walked me home just past midnight. 

    Everyone was in bed, and I was thrilled that I didn't have to interact with anyone. I climbed into bed resigned to the fact that I was still pregnant. Then the contractions really started to pick up. I tried timing them, but was too busy focusing on them to start and stop the timer. I knew that they were getting stronger but they sure didn't feel closer together. A few times I had to hop out of bed and walk through the contractions. I was able to breathe slow and deep, then get back in bed. I think I even fell asleep between contractions. At 2:00 AM I decided to call my doctor and see what she thought. I was 40 weeks 5 days, had been having irregular contractions for weeks, and had taken my Heparin shot at 10:00 PM. I really didn't want to get things going if this was another false alarm. I woke Sean up and we decided to head into the hospital. We took our time getting things together, then I had him tell my mom we were leaving. 

  In the car I had Sean call Renee and Jess and let them know we were headed in. We asked Jess to let Tami know, since I didn't feel like talking. The drive in was difficult because I couldn't move. I really just wanted to take off my seat belt and get on my knees, but I decided that was too much effort.  When we arrived at St. Joe's we had trouble finding a parking spot, then we had some paperwork to fill out.  Tami and Renee arrived shortly after us, Tami was quick to recognize that I didn't want to answer questions or fill out paperwork and she intervened on my behalf.  I was relieved when they didn't make us go to triage but gave us a room instead. 

  I asked for my Pic line to be placed in my forearm but after a couple of failed attempts I consented to a line in my hand, as long as it did not interfere with my mobility. The monitors felt like someone was slapping my skin on my belly. I did not want the belts or the belly band constricting me. The nurse finally figured out that she could use the waistband on my skirt for the fetal monitor and gave up entirely on the contraction monitor. 

  I thought that the nurse was extremely patient with me and gave me the time that I needed instead of focusing entirely on the machines, but I was told later that while she was patient, I just politely ignored her.  

Although I had just taken a 2 1/2 hour bath earlier, I decided to try the tub again. It was not as helpful as it has been for prior labors. I still felt like my belly was going to burst open at any minute. I asked Tami and Jess to read Bible verses that I had saved on my phone while Sean sat by me and rubbed my back. I finally decided that I just needed to move. I was feeling very vulnerable and like I just wanted some reassurance. I stopped walking to kiss Sean and to bend over for contractions. I really enjoyed the kissing and it provided me with much needed distraction and a feeling of just being able to let go. 

  I think that I pretty much kept my eyes closed and walked circles. Tami opened the curtain to give me more space to walk. A few times I almost ran into something, but stopped short. I liked the feeling of being in Sean's arms, but when my belly would touch him it hurt. Tami seemed to be the right height. I felt bad because I knew that I wasn't light when I leaned on her and Sean massaging my back added extra to what she was already supporting, but it worked for me. I alternated between Jess, Tami and Sean depending on who was closest. But even when I was leaning on someone else, Sean was always there to put pressure on my back. 

  I know that we used the oil diffuser and that some oils were used and I found that very comforting, but I don't know the specifics of which oils were used, or where. I also asked that someone place the wet washcloths in the fridge so I would have nice cold ones. They did a great job keeping the cold washcloths on my neck and changing them when they were no longer cold. 

  I could tell that I was getting tense and I did not want to get hung up. I did ask for several exams to see if I was ready to push, or if I could have my water broken. Prior to labor I was determined to let my water break when it was ready. I knew that I would be disappointed if I took action, but at that point I just wanted relief. The doctor broke my water because the baby's head was down and it was safe to do. Mostly because I begged her to. To my surprise it wasn't the gush or the relief I was expecting. 

I decided that I needed to enjoy these contractions. I know that sounds strange, but I thought that if I could talk myself into loving each contraction I could progress faster and start pushing. I love pushing in labor. I love the idea that I get to meet my baby soon and that I am doing something to expedite the process. The power behind each push, the progress and the purpose is empowering. I just wanted to get to push. I couldn't help remember the hours of waiting to push and trying to push when I wasn't complete with Liberty's birth and I did not want to repeat that. So when I had a contraction I tried to imagine myself completely letting go, and being consumed in the moment. I talked to myself, I told myself that this was normal, my body was doing exactly what it was designed to do and that it was a privilege to give birth. 

  Jess was great with verbal encouragement and telling me that I was strong enough to do this. She was there with strength and gentleness reminding me to stay in control. When the doctor checked me and told me that I had a big fat anterior lip left on my cervix (the same thing that happened with Liberty) Jess encouraged me by reminding me that this was a different birth and that God had all things in his control. 

  I know I was not the ideal patient because I couldn't get in the bed. Dr. Kapernick was fantastic and did most of my exams standing up. I remember standing at the end of the bed and she told me to push with the next contraction and we would see if she could get the lip over the baby's head. I did, and she did! I was so happy. I was also so tired. I had been walking, squatting, and moving continuously. I felt like I was going to pass out and go to sleep, so I climbed in the bed. I was concerned because I knew that the shift ended at 7 or 7:30 and when I looked at the clock it was 6 AM. I really wanted this doctor to deliver, because I know she is hands off and trusts a woman to do what she needs done. She knows that we are designed to give birth and allows time for the process to unfold. 

  The bed was so low that they raised it up so that Sean, Tami and Jess wouldn't have to bend over so far. I pushed a few times and quickly realized that I was much better off standing up. I leaped out of bed, which sent everyone scrambling because not only was the bed raised and they were afraid that I was going to fall, but I went to the side that had the least amount of room. 

  The doctor stood back and let me push then all of a sudden the baby went from still not  engaged to crowning. I yelled that the baby's head was here. Because of the size of the baby, they were concerned that his shoulders were going to get stuck and therefore they wanted me in the bed, so that the doctor could help. The original plan had been for Sean to deliver, but we realized that it was going much to fast and needed some assistance. 

  They told me to get in the bed, which was still raised. I am still not sure how that happened. I think everyone lifted and flipped me, but I am told that I climbed up while the doctor had her hands on the baby. It looked like she was moving me by the baby's head. I was almost sitting on his head, so they told me to scoot down in the bed. There was a mad scramble to try to disassemble the bed and they had a hard time getting it apart. 

  After I was in the bed they took my legs and brought them up to my ears, straightened them out and brought them up to my ears again. This makes the pelvic outlet bigger and they needed it as large as it could possibly be. 

  My birth plan said that I wanted the room quiet so that the first sound the baby heard was Sean and my voice. Instead I screamed him into this world. Finally, the rest of the amniotic fluid came out in a huge gush, right after the baby. 

 He was placed immediately on my chest and I opened my eyes for the first time. Both Sean and I were crying. I was so happy to have him safely in my arms. I think up until that point I was still unsure how it was all going to play out.  I thanked Jesus for the baby, for his safe arrival, and for no complications. 

He didn't cry as much as they wanted him to, and his breathing was a bit raspy so they brought him to the warming table and cleaned out his airway.  We were all curious to his weight so I let them weigh him, before I got him back. 

  Delivering the placenta felt like I was delivering another baby. The doctor and nurse and Renee were all shocked at the size so they weighed that too. Most placentas weigh about 1 pound. Mine was 3 pounds 1 oz! 

I couldn't stop crying and was so happy. I just wanted to kiss my husband and my baby. I felt like there is nothing better in the whole world than to hold a naked newborn on my breast and know that I get to be his mama. 

When I told the doctor there is nothing like a deadline to motivate someone, she let me know that she wasn't going to leave. She would have stayed to do his delivery. 

Wyatt Valor Slocum was born April 16, 2014 at 6:53 AM. He weighed 11 pounds 6 oz and was 22" long.  His name means brave, strong and courageous. A name that we pray he strives to live up to.
While his birth did not go according to my plan, I couldn't have asked for a better birth, or a better birth team. It was so very hard yet, absolutely wonderful.
 

Waiting….

A few weeks ago, Liberty asked to take a picture of me. Oh the perspective of a 5 year old. This week, a little girl in Liberty's class at Classical Conversations said, "Whoa! That looks big! AND it looks REALLY heavy!"

I really thought that I would have this baby before my due date. I guess he didn't get the memo that Multiparous women are supposed to deliver early. 

I started to feel really discouraged. I have been walking around at 4-5CM and 70% effaced for the past 2 weeks. I really expected to see some progress this week, and was contemplating having my membranes swept. Until I learned that I have polyhydramnios. It is far to risky to do any intervention unless the baby's head is well engaged.
In my Bible reading I came across Paul talking about being thankful in all circumstances.  Sometimes it is so easy to lose sight on all of our blessings. I am not sleeping well and am uncomfortable~ but I am growing a baby! I have the privilege of sharing in God's miracle and He has chosen us to bestow another blessing on.
I am choosing to relish my last few hours, days or weeks of this pregnancy and remember that God has the perfect timing planned for this baby to make his arrival. My arms are aching to hold him. Until then, I will be content in all circumstances.
We had the privilege of having Renee at Little Earthing Photography do some maternity photos for us. Be sure to click over and see her amazing work!

Five Guys Burgers and Fries

This pregnancy has been difficult for the family as far as meals are concerned. Not too long ago, I just couldn't find any motivation to make dinner. Sean offered to make something for dinner when he got home. However, we got to talking and couldn't come up with anything quick and easy. 

"Does that come with Bacon?"

 The children suggested that we, "Go out for dinner." This made us laugh, because we rarely go out and it isn't exactly in our budget.
The boys fascination with Five Guys Burgers and Fries began last summer when they won 2 $25 gift certificates to Five Guys. They used the certificates when they went on a fishing trip with Papa and Granddad. Ever since then, the girls have wanted to go too.

Aaron taking care of Liberty

 I told the children, "I'm sorry we just can't." Aaron replied, "I can pay for me and Liberty."
Taylor said, "Yes! I will pay for me and Ian." and Erik chimed in, "I will pay for me and Ruby." So Papa said,"Great! I will pay for me and Mama!"
I have never seen the children move so quickly to get coats and shoes on and get buckled in the BRV. That may have been that it was after 7 and they were starving, however I think it was more likely motivated by the desire for a good burger.

Waiting for the food, so that they can serve others. 

 It was surprising to me how different each child acted when they were responsible for another sibling. Aaron carried Liberty in, helped her choose her meal, and then served her meal to her. Erik held the door for Ruby. When Ruby was disappointed that they were going to share a drink, he put his arm around her and walked her up to the register and bought  her her own drink.
Taylor was completely generous and let Ian order whatever he wanted, even the adult meal complete with fries and a drink. When Ian needed a napkin or ketchup she was quick to get it for him.

Ruby got her very own soda

 I also found it interesting that they wanted to sit with the person they purchased dinner for. There was no arguing over who was going to sit where, or if it wasn't their turn to get napkins. When Liberty ordered her junior bacon cheese burger she asked the cashier if it came with bacon. The cashier laughed and assured her that it did. Then, when Ruby ordered her junior bacon cheese burger, she said, "With Bacon." and confirmed, "Does that come with bacon?"
I guess we don't go out enough to know that a bacon cheese burger comes with bacon.
I loved my bacon cheese burger and Coke with lime. Of course, no outing would be complete without a spill. True to form, Liberty spilled her drink. It was completely out of character however that Aaron grabbed the napkins and started cleaning up the mess.
Each person spent right about $20. They were happy and cheerful to do so, and it was a fun evening.

The younger children were very gracious and said Thank you a dozen times. 

I never want to forget the generosity and compassion that I saw from my children. I feel like we got a glimpse of how they will treat their future spouses. It gave me hope. My boys showed that chivalry is not dead. AND I got a night off from dinner. 

Seventeen Years

 Last weekend Sean and I went away for 4 whole days to celebrate 17 years of marriage. Much thanks to my momm for watching the children so we could get away.

View from our room

 We never really 'dated' in fact, he asked me to marry him on our first date. We spent time together getting to know each other. Mostly at work and Bible Study. When we were engaged we lived 300 miles apart so this kept things pretty simple as far as how we expressed our love and commitment.

I was actually able to zip up Sean's coat.
However, he had to strap on my snowshoes for me. 

 This simplicity hasn't changed much over the past 17 years. I would say that in most things I am pretty low maintenance, while others I imagine that high maintenance would be a more accurate description. I knew that I really wanted to go away for our anniversary so I planned a little get away to Lake Chelan. I knew that we couldn't do anything too strenuous or thrilling, being 7 months pregnant and all.

Another photo to add to our collection of foot photos. 

 I planned for us to go Snowmobiling and Snowshoeing. However, when we got to Lake Chelan there was very little snow around. When I called to reserve the snowmobiles the man said that he hadn't rented them out at all this year.
We persevered and found enough snow to go snowshoeing. We did a 5K trail, and took it slower than I cared to admit. It was great to get out and be together in the fresh air and sunshine. It was fun to talk about the baby (names), plans for our future, where we have come from and where we want to go.

Gotta love that smile. 

 I especially loved not having to plan meals, or feed anyone else. We took advantage of the complimentary breakfast and hot soup, sandwiches and bread for dinner. The lady that served dinner was gracious and gave us the fresh hot cookies and ice cold milk. Although milk was not out for everyone, she had pity on me.
There was a Keurig in the room and about 18 pillows on the bed ~ Heaven for this pregnant mama.

Pregnancy cravings

 Sean was very accommodating with my choice of snacks.
We explored the local book stores, thrift stores, and restaurants for lunch. We slept in, watched a movie, a beautiful sunset over the lake, tried out the hot tub, and had time to rest, reconnect and feel amazingly refreshed.

Smooching

  On our snowshoeing adventure we came across 8 deer in a ravine just below us. They stopped and stared at us for the longest time.

Better Together 

The last 17 years have been a crazy ride. Some really difficult and more wonderful. Growing in our walk with God and each other. We are learning to be focused less on ourselves and more on each other.  I could not have asked for a better man to do life with. Looking forward to what's to come.

Goodbye Summer

This summer we discovered some new (to us) and wonderful places to visit. 

Paisley adores Aaron. He is pretty sweet with her too! 

 One of the best is The River. We have been coming to The River since June and have really enjoyed watching how The River changes from visit to visit. It is similar to our beach but different in many ways. The best difference is that it is fresh water, which means that showers are not essential when you return home. It is a rocky beach which means that most of our swim stuff is no longer covered in sand. Win Win in my book!

Ruby and Honor discover more sticks.

 Although the water is cold the children enjoyed floating and really excelled at becoming more confident in the water this summer. Life Jackets were mandatory for the 7 and under crowd. Aaron and Erik loved crawdad fishing and finding many of the river dwelling species.
On our last visit of the season there were hundreds of dead salmon. After talking to some local fisherman we learned that they were spawning. The children lined them up on the riverbank but soon grew tired of that. We identified differences between the different species and even found some salmon eggs. They squished some open and felt them and inspected them.

Some game where Ian "The Protector of the Littles" was defending against Aaron.
It might have been an even match. 

 The only downfall is the constant hunger. Between Jess and I we have 11 kids at home and they all need to eat about 47 times a day. We have finally learned to fill the cooler and place it a fair distance away so everyone can help themselves without asking every 2.4 seconds, "What else can I eat?"

I truly love the life my children are experiencing. 

 I also love the creativity and space at The River. It allows the children a little more freedom without me constantly hovering over them. They are safe to explore and build forts, rock houses, sand (on the far beach) or simply float. All the while they are within sight of me.

Because every 7 year old girl plays with dead fish. 

Still being in the early stages of pregnancy and still feeling quite sick the potty situation was less than ideal. Especially after helping Libby go, I proceeded to puke all over her went. I also had to keep a fair distance from my children that were eating tuna salad.
Otherwise it was ideal to bring my chair down to The River's Edge and soak my feet in the cool water and get up every 45 minutes to dunk under the refreshing water and cool off. Oh how I long to have to cool off again.

Fashion Show and 4,000 miles

This summer I was cleaning out a certain closet upstairs. A closet that everyone seems to open the door, throw something in and quickly close it. A catchall full of useless detritus. 

 I found a whole stack of Sean's old rowing paraphernalia. I was complaining about all the stuff and made the flippant remark that Sean couldn't even get into any of the clothes anymore, why oh why must we store it?

 What ensued was laughter and a spontaneous modeling show starring Sean!
Alas, he fit into every single thing in there, with room to spare! Mind you, not that any of the Olympic uniforms will ever be seen in public, but they could.

 We also found his WWU Letterman's sweater. It was a fun walk down memory lane, with lots of stories the kids and I had never heard before.

As of this week, Sean has ridden over 4,000 miles on his bike since last September. He began riding his bike as a means to save some gas money. However, he really enjoyed the challenge and the fitness. I confess, I was a bit disappointed that he was seeing such great weight loss and fitness when it seemed like I was really trying and he wasn't doing anything but riding his bike to and from work. 

As a runner, I always looked at bike riders as sort of 'weak' I mean really, how hard is it to get on a bike and pedal. That is until I began riding with Sean. Ignorance is bliss. No wonder he is in such amazing shape. He rides a single speed fixed gear bike. That means that he must always pedal (no coasting, even downhill) and he can't ever shift. Sometimes, he rides uphill with just one foot. I tried that once just to see how hard it was. I have regular pedals and wear my running shoes, Sean has clips on his bike shoes and is attached to his pedal. I felt like an idiot. 

I am not sure how he logged 4,000 miles in 12 months including the few months that he took off due to freezing rain, snow, ice and pitch black. I have a whole new respect for bikers, especially single speed bikers that I happen to be married to. Thank you so much Honey, for your sacrifices, commitment, and example of steadfast determination. I admire you.