Saturday, June 14, 2008

CPS Update

So I have received lots of questions about what is going on in that department. The young lady was with us for almost a week and there was almost constant drama. I was very proud of our children and their acceptance of her, they gave gifts, made pictures, played games, gave her the good seat in the van, and included her as part of the family.
The problem was me. Sean was fully supportive of what I thought was best. I tried to be a confidant, discipler, therapist, trusted adult, and what ever else she needed. She and I talked about her beliefs and that God wants a relationship with her. Sean and I talked at length about Jesus coming to 'seek and save the lost' she definatly is lost. and that God often asks us to do things we are not comfortable with (I have checked into foster care) so it's not like I was too uncomfortable. So, you ask"what's the problem?" Well, with her around I was getting calls from her mother telling me 'RULES' which I promptly disregarded. but I felt oppressed, there was darkness and no peace. I believe that if God is calling you to do something, even if you don't like it, you will be filled with peace. I experienced the opposite. I had some panic feelings, anxiety with shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, dizzy,etc., I don't believe that makes me very functional or provides my family with what they need.
So I made the call, after call, after call to her social worker and told her we needed to find another placement. I felt like I was abandoning her and kicking her to the curb, feeding her to the wolves, but it had to be done. I also told her the social worker was coming and gave her a suitcase and helped her pack. I hugged her and told her it was best to get her more permanant placement. When the social worker arrived she did not want to leave and cried as she hugged the children. I felt like she was taking a piece of my heart with her when she left. It was a horrible moment. We continue to pray for her peace, safety and especially salvation and hope that her time with us was both helpful and a blessing.

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