To Have And To Hold

Sean proposed on January 11, 1996, we graduated in June and he moved to Seattle for a job. I stayed put in Bellingham, I had a good job, Mikaela was in school, and I had a very affordable house to live in.

It was tough to have a long distance relationship but it required us to work on our communication skills. We continued writing letters and phone calls. Once, I was going to surprise him and drive down to see him but I ended up getting sick and he showed up and surprised me! We were really glad that we did not both make the 6 hour round trip drive just to miss each other somewhere along the I-5 corridor. After lots of pre-marriage counseling and natural family planning classes, we were married on February 8, 1997. I remember being really nervous and I kept thinking of all the statistic that 80% of second marriages end in divorce and knowing that I did not want to do THAT again.
Something that I really admired in Sean was that when he said he was going to do something he did it. He was a man of integrity and very diligent in his work.

This photo was taken before the ceremony and the photographer wanted one of us kissing but Sean refused and said that our first kiss would truly be after we said our vows. It was only a few hours away and even with all the pressure he held fast to his commitment.
After Sean said his vows to me, he got down on one knee and said vows to Mikaela as well. He promised to love her like his own, to provide and protect her and train her in the ways of God. He promised to provide her with a Godly example of what a husband should be.

There was not a dry eye in the crowd, and I had to follow after him.
We were so honored that the couple that did our pre-marriage counseling, baptized Sean and led me to a true relationship with Christ flew back from Hawaii to perform our marriage ceremony.

Sean said, "We are not having a wedding, we are having a marriage."

At the end of the evening when we were getting ready to leave the whole hillside in back of the country club caught on fire! There was a leak in the Natural Gas Pipeline. We both thought it was an indication of the adventure that lay ahead! What an adventure it has been.

When I found this photo I thought it was our first kiss, but I noticed that I do not have on my veil, so it must be of us kissing during the reception. You will not see us kissing much in public, if at all, because Sean is a stickler on P.D.A. I do like to kiss though!

After the reception, we headed out to spend the night in Canada before our early morning flight to Cancun, Mexico. It was the first time we were alone (except for carpooling) and we enjoyed every minute together.

I remember in my vows, I promised to honor respect and submit to Sean. This seems like it would be an easy vow to fulfill. Remember, I am a strong willed stubborn woman. I had been a single parent supporting myself for over 6 years (the first child support check I ever received was the day before our wedding).

Eph 5: 22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Eph 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.

1 Peter 3:5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

These verses are helping me to remember my role as his helpmeet.

My purpose is to glorify God, and I can do that primarily by choosing to love my husband. Some days, weeks, and months that is an easier thing to do than other seasons. Choosing to love him is an honor to God and is the vow I made to him on our wedding day.